You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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