Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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