I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Mom said you looked used
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
