Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
