Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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