how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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