why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
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