maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
