seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
