When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
