I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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