I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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