it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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