we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
