but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
