And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
