I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
