Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
