You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
