I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
