Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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