Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
