and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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