Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
