I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
