he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
