So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
oh god the rape fog is back!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
