He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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