I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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