If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
