Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
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