At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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