We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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