Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize