I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
