come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
