well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
