I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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