so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize