spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
soo... how was my night?
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