Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize