Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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