so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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