yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
