I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
