and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
