So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
