put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
