you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
