bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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