I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize