when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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