so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
