walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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