why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
