Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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