please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
