She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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