just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
