addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
