I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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