'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
