I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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