nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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