Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
