there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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