You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
